Turning bad singing experiences into good singing lessons

• Posted by Chris Rowbury May 22 - Filed in Choir Post - 587 views

  [The views expressed in this blog are from my personal experiences from 25 years of leading non-auditioned community choirs in the UK, as well as adult singing workshops. My focus is on teaching by ear using a repertoire of songs from traditions across the globe. Your experiences may differ from mine, so do feel free to leave a comment and let's begin a conversation! A version of this article first appeared as a post on my blog From the Front of the Choir]

   

  Things go wrong from time to time, but it doesn’t have to be a bad experience.

   

  

   

  It’s possible to consider things from a different perspective and find the positive. Here’s how.
  
  Many people are “glass half empty” people. Even if you’re not, it’s easy to fall into this way of thinking when something bad happens.
  
  You could really blow a solo; a concert might go badly wrong; you could turn up to lead your choir and realise you’ve left all your sheet music at home; you might be the only singer in your section who’s forgotten to stop singing at a particular point; the song that went so well in rehearsal falls apart in rehearsal; nobody turns up to your workshop.
  
  There are so many ways in which things can go wrong that it’s remarkable we get it right most of the time!
  
  But when disaster does strike, how can we reframe it into a “glass half full” experience?
  
  

  reframe the situation

  There’s always a different way of looking at a bad situation. Every cloud has a potential silver lining, even though it might be hard to figure out at first.
  
  Here are some examples:

  • “it’s the end of term and there’ll be no singing for two months”
    
    becomes:
    
    “great, I can check out some different singing workshops and spend time on perfecting songs and learning more about my voice.” (see What singers can do when choir’s on a break and Use the long choir break to get better at what you do and Help! What am I going to do with no singing over the summer break?)
     
  • “that was an awful rehearsal– everything that could go wrong, went wrong”
    
    becomes:
    
    “that’s all the wrong ways of doing it out of the way, now we’re left with the things that work.” (see What are rehearsals for exactly? and When rehearsals go bad)
     
  • “I feel so embarrassed, I sung that badly out of tune and forgot most of the words”
    
    becomes:
    
    “becoming a better singer takes time and I now have something concrete to work on before I sing that song again.” (see Singers, don’t be afraid to make mistakes – it’s the only way to learn)
     
  • “that was perhaps the worst concert we’ve done, I wasn’t on the ball as a conductor and the singers were all over the place”
    
    becomes:
    
    “I can learn loads from that experience which will help me develop as a choir leader and gives me lots of ideas for working with the choir to improve things.” (see Taking stock – self-reflection for choir leaders and singers)
     

  You get the idea.
  
  It’s so easy to get lost in the negative when you have a bad experience. If you can become a little more self-aware, it’s always possible to turn things around.
  
  

  make a new narrative

  I’ve written before about how you label yourself as a singer might be holding you back.
  
  It’s very easy to get stuck in one particular way of telling a story.
  
  You can repeat the story of how you were told to stand at the back and mime at school and have never been able to sing since.
  
  You can constantly remind people that the last few concerts you conducted was so bad that you’re thinking of giving up choir leading.
  
  Your friends are tired of you telling them the story of how the singers in your choir can’t hold a tune and are useless at remembering lyrics.
  
  The trouble is, by repeating our story often enough it becomes the only reality. It is possible to reframe the narrative of an experience so we can get out of the never-ending loop and change the future.
  
  Your story of standing at the back and miming can become one of overcoming the odds. That despite lack of encouragement as a child, you went onto join a choir as an adult and found your singing voice.
  
  Stop focusing on the last few concerts that went badly and remind yourself (and others) of all the successful concerts you’ve conducted. And of the choirs that you’ve led and the singing workshops you’ve run. The bad ones are just a blip and can be allowed to fade into the background of your story.
  
  Your friends can support you in your new-found enthusiasm for turning your tuneless choir into a tuneful one. Your story becomes one of helping others to find and develop their voices. Don’t allow yourself to get stuck into what is, but focus on what can be.

   

   

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  Chris Rowbury

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